we all know

[a list]

menthol halls
steel-cut oats
wesley
dewey
drew
guatemala
Legion
hagerstown
whiskey (warm)
airborne
ugly people
scalding showers
drawn & quarterly
baby lotion
thermal pants
raymond carver
maryland china
spoon
sephora
tasse
social security card

oracle .. or another word similar to the word oracle that sounds better.




i'm getting really good at digging myself into projects i don't like.
(why am i doing a participation/interaction project. i hate those kinds of projects!)
nothing worse than not being able to stand behind your own work...

i have my final thesis crit this week,
and a departmental review the week after.




today it snowed..
but god, we all know..

it didn't stick.








i have to build a table
- an impossibly beautiful table.

currency// exchange

Corcoran Gallery of Art - Gallery 31
Thursday, November 12th.
6- 8 p.m.

Currency / Exchange showcases work made by Corcoran photography students in El Salvador while enrolled in the seminar and travel course “International Experience / Transnational Identity,” taught by Muriel Hasbun, with the collaboration of Susan Sterner. Students Kathleen Altemus, Julie Carrasco, Nick Kirkpatrick, Erika Nizborski, Jenny Yang and Michelle Yo learned about the history and culture of the smallest Central American country and its transnational community in the Washington, D.C. area while exploring contemporary issues of migration, diaspora and cultural identity. The photographs of Currency / Exchange speak to the experience of translating a culture and attest to the currency of images in the making of a cultural landscape.



I was in El Salvador in January of 2009. It feels so long ago now, but we've saved our show to coincide with Fotoweek D.C.
I'd be thrilled if you decided to join me at the closing reception - free to the public.




suchitoto besos.

preview

"That day I carried the dream around like a full glass of water, moving gracefully so I would not lose any of it." – Miranda July




my thesis preview show will be up for one more week in the White Walls gallery at the Corcoran College of Art + Design.
if you are so inclined to visit i would appreciate some suggestions and feedback.

i have a lot of things to sort out - specifically about my thesis and more generally about photography as a whole.

as of now.. things look bleak.








cheers.

a certain longing :: september 18th

come take my pulse

-- the pace is on a runaway train.



the color processor has been closed // out of chemistry // being a jerk for 3 weekends now.
i have two shows i need to print on that dying machine.
one of which critiques today.
meaning i've had to hang work prints and alternates.

bahh.. such is the consequence of choosing color film.





susan called me the last of a dying dinosaur breed making c-prints.



a happy, happy dinosaur.. living in a land where butterflies abound
food grows to the height of my mouth
and perspective is optional.



-------------------

two openings.


[Stimulus]
Thursday, April 23rd 2009 6p.m.
White Walls Gallery
Corcoran College of Art + Design


[The New Color]
Friday, May 8th 2009
87 Florida, NW Washington, D.C. 20001
Curated by Jayme A. McLellan of Civilian Arts Projects
(more info to come on this one)



---------------------

to something better left unknown.

i woke up exhausted sunday morning.
[hung over from take out?]

got myself up and went to church for palm sunday.

coloring in jesus outline riding a donkey.
flailing palm leaves.
learning the word hosanna.
nothing wrong with that.


we got there too late.. and i didn't get a palm leaf :T

apologies for being such a lazy blogger.


my class was given the task of documenting the first 100 days of the obama admin in terms of the economy for this spring semester.

what's the most boring thing i could think of?




circuit city.

moments and faces.

[gobs story]

:production manager for the olney theatre.
:opening night for steve martin's adaptation of the underpants.

i decided take a chance and shoot film.
low lighting and cramped quarters made it difficult, but it was good practice.
it's not the most beautiful work in the world, but i've made the decision to give this photojournalism thing a try..
so i guess it's time to tell stories.


[even though i love them.. i'll spare you the AP style captions]



jenna.


tiny booth.


reviewing lines and checking the wire.


blocking. [gorgeous stage]


i only caught the last half of the play, but i'd assume the other half was just as good. farce comedy with a flare for feminism and anti-anti-semitism.
olney maryland was strange, but delightful.
tjmaxx, farm land, parking lots, and some weird catering company that made me throw up :]

that's the kind of nice thing about photojournalism.
you have an excuse to do things and go places you would have otherwise had no reason to pursue. maybe i'll end up a richer person.

my core class has been shooting a lot of these hit and run 5 picture stories.
they seem pretty simple, but they're really demanding on the schedule.
to find access to strangers, photograph, and compile the work for each week isn't that easy.
and it has much to do with luck.

i've grown cranky, tired, and lazy.
sick, unmotivated, and bored.

moments and faces.


we'll see what happens. i'm just trying to stick it out.
i can at least say that i know i'm good company.

better late than later

.

third year pj core is already in full swing.
and our new instructors have really put on the pressure.

melina mara - washington post
tyrone turner - national geographic (husband of the fabulous susan sterner)
sandra eisner - first ever white house press association editor, msnbc website designer

each one of them was hired especially to teach our class of 11. lucky we are.



[first week's assignment]

one person photo story. 5 images.
by my own admission, i kind of bombed it.
i shadowed christopher for his assignment exploring identity.
it was a little too visually complicated for a 5 picture story.


joe elbert (longtime photo editor for the post) came to lecture for our first crit.
he liked this photo, but was sure that it was an entire accident. wonderful :]



this is a little mock up i made for my class to show each color stage.

if you're interested in seeing the final product of this endeavor contact artist: christopher cunetto.



will be posting again shortly.

ftpa

sometimes i
shoot 35; 36 times.



double exposures on expired fuji color press film.
elliott does portraits. i do crack.


throw your ____________________ if you're feeling my vibe.




rode my bike for the first time this spring
[groceries in the basket and everything]
POYi lectures made me want to be a photojournalist
[just a little bit]

pope has been all up in my space.. my block. my school. my paper
making me late whilst making moves.

rumor has it weezer is going red.. ::shakeshead::
this could be my summer heartbreak.





the weather's getting hotter and i feel too cool for school.

i'm already ready ready to fall asleep with the windows open..
listening to electrotones.
trying to recall exactly what it felt like to be painfully alone.






on repeat.

POSITIVE.

this is me a few weeks ago...
about to leave to shoot my aids story.
optimistic and fresh; feeling a little copaken kogan
excited for a worthwhile story about an hiv positive young man named jonathan.





this is jonathan's room.
he lives in the basement of a hospice house in adam's morgan called joseph's house
they take in terminally ill people with no other options of care.


my work, along with my class's, is now hung and ready to show.
my small class has attempted to tackle a global issue in a local context.
[through audio, video, text, and of course photography]

it's important.
beautiful.
attention worthy.
deep.
heartbreaking.
inspiring.
it's an awakening documented.
a contemplation begging to be explored.




--------------------------------------

POSITIVE:
living with hiv/aids in washington, d.c.
2nd year photojournalism show

thursday, april 10th [5:30-8 pm]
corcoran college of art + design. [white halls gallery]
free and open to the public
light refreshments will be served.

-----------------------------------------------------

and all these things shall be added unto you.

allelu


for a week
i didn't wake myself up
i stopped answering my phone
stopped moving
didn't press coffee
[yeah, that's the big one]


i just let it come to me
as it wanted
slowly
and
surely

and somehow that was enough.


beautiful things.
hymns.
lovely things.
both hands.

things i didn't see coming..
[in life.. heart.. face.. not just windclickblink]
.. but feel like i've been waiting for since forever.



and now that the week is over
i'm left standing face towards the sun
fully enjoying the spoils.
and when it sets..
i know i'll still be warm
from glowing residuals.



ahleh
yilew

alleluia

contact // contagion // chocolate chip cookies

midterm week is over.
death to janky pony tail
death to eating when not hungry
death to unfolded laundry
death to sleeping at school
death to constantly making moves

salute to hot showers
salute to selfish sleep
salute to stretching on hardwood floors
salute to grace and peace in abundance



i had to choose a hypothetical mentor for a recent project.
why i chose thomas struth.. i'm not so sure
i thought his museum series would be accessible to mimic being in dc
i thought he was smart
i thought it would be a fresh study.


claude monet, rouen cathedral harmony in blue, 1893
national gallery of art


yeah. i thought a lot of things.
i should have chosen someone simpler than struth,
somoene more similar to my style of shooting..
but that's alright.
it's over.. i've let it go.


frederic edwin church, niagara, 1857
corcoran gallery of art




spring break
dc ny now then when
whitney moma hirshhorn
shoot aids story
shoot color ramblings
shoot whatever
idk ohemgee callme

spring break.

if i had volcano boots

remember when everything was in black and white?
yeah.. i don't, either.


i've been thinking about james nachtwey, lately.
[his energy.. and his clothes]

i go through phases of dress
last winter it was tight pants and ridiculously large and embarrassing sweaters.
basketmaker.basketmaker.basketmaker.bunniessaycharge.1988koreanolympics

in the summer i was hunting for the perfection dress. weddings aand the beach.
thank you blue linen baby doll.

lately i've been wearing plain pants.. my disintegrating knock off keds and whatever.
conclusion: i need a uniform.
white dress shirt. black pants. bwpumas short white hair? yes? YES. RAYA?! O.o



because looking the same everyday is so satisfying.
because if that stays still something else will move
because the universe will know i'm trying
because internships are on the brain
because need less use less is beautiful

because
i'm sick of looking 12.
[that's not true]
dying my hair black wasn't enough
[back to shortshort?]
pigtails must die
[shit, but it feels soo right]
contacts for glasses
[i'm scared]
grow some heels
[then i'll get respect]
you think too much
[and you care, why?]



james nachtwey
his shirts are so white..
and his pants are slightly creased.
plain black backpack. shoes tied tight.
les sigh...
les lovely.

enough about me..

.. let's talk about you.
[psa to all the gentlemen out there]




prints are always richer than scans.. :T.


sometimes i feel like a girl..

and it's nice.

things sparkle just for me..
the wind loops my hair
and makes it smell like the woods.




my skin is moisturized
i am more badass in my subtleties than you know

and pink isn't such a stupid color after all.

regarding the pain others.

bye bye castro fidel
hello castro raul

musharraf.. pakistan is so over you.

did you feel the illinoise?
five college kids certainly did.

a total eclipse of the heart [read: the moon] tonight.


something is certainly brewing.
mm.. everyday there is more universal heartache, no?
i guess it's just up to me each day..
to care.. to check.. to feel the world
or not.

most days it's just easier to not.



unsure about a lot of things, lately.
i don't feel stable in any of my classes, really.
not really motivated in any clear way, yet..
i feel like a photo baby all over again.



i'm eagerly waiting call backs and email replies from AIDS organizations in DC.
is it wrong to be jealous that my friends are making actual contacts with sick people and i'm not?
yes. yes, it is.. what the hell is wrong with me?
finding joy and hope in getting access to other people's pain.

but that's the point, i guess.
how do you get to the point of showing the empathy and information through images
without doing legwork?
and how do you persevere through the rejections without a tenaciously positive attitude?



come on susan sontag..
let's talk.

i hope you find the magic on the floor..

that i left behind.. and forgot to close the door.



[a.o.k t.k.o.]

i woke up this morning in a living room alone with all the blinds down..
clock ticking sloppily.. foot traffic in my ears..
and a bug bite of some sort on my left butt cheek..
a living room that wasn't mine.
... it took me way too long to realize that i was at lindsey and renee's and everything was aok.



[a plus]

veganism has kicked into gear..
and i've lost some weight in the process..
but i think i look exactly the same.

this means that i either now look like what i thought i looked like weeks ago
or i legitimately look like what i used to.
i win either way right? right.

[i could have determined that i lose either way..
but i didn't, because i like to stay positive.
positivity. yes.]




[dogs & water]

why does anders nilsen have to so perfectly unfold my heart with his non-linear story telling..
great devotion to white space..
and sensitivity towards gray and other muted colors?





[damnit]

michelle yo was making moves..
as fast as she could..
jumping streams.. making paths.. pumping her arms in the air victoriously

in new sneakers.
making aerodynamic moves.
until the wind stopped. the trees fell.
the treadmill snapped.
she fell in a hole
and skinned her knees

now it hurts when she walks.
skin cracking over and over, again.
and she's pretty much sure her new shoes are seriously ugly.

i'm me.. me be

goddamn
i am
i can
sing and..
hear me.. know me..



weezer day has come and gone.
and that's that.



16 years ago on feburary 14th.. =w had their first band practice..
and so began the catalyst of my twisted and wonderful adolescent formation.
i'm not interested in listening to them every day.. or even every weekmonth
but they're in my bones.. my marrow.. my ride home..

their music has scarred me for life..


thanks a lot, rivers..




reasons why the blast off! video is excellent:
- trampoline exercises
- traditional calligraphy i learned in korean school
- mini fountain
- rivers takes off his pants
blastoff!

oh, were it to stop.. my tick tock, ticktockclock

i've been waking up in the morning with a cold nose
slightly damp.. kind of pink..
i have to hold it in between my fingers for a while, until it warms back up.

makes me feel kind of like a puppy and its owner at the same time..
it's a strange thought process i go through moments upon waking..
but i kind of look forward to it now.


[yep.. still scanning]


i lost a glove.
i found a glove..
the universe is good.



focus knob on my yashicamat broke.
it's going to cost $90 to fix.
heartbreak.

in a panic to finish my work for the week.. i resorted to shooting my memory project on color paper with a pinhole camera.
really interesting.. and kind of fun..
but it's no where near as conceptually satisfying as it could have been.
not that excited for the crit..
maybe i just needed an extra lesson in humility this week.



[appendage :: 9:45pm]

i was walking home in the rain sans umbrella.
glasses throwing sparkles of color in my eyes..
counting on my ruby red glitter slippers to get me home safely.

almost tripped.. got picked up..
and walked a little ways home under an umbrella
of a gentleman who recognized me from an event..

chivalry is not dead, ladies.
cheers to gay boys with umbrellas.
[straight ones, too.. i guess.. but none of them helped me out, tonight]

hello, ash wednesday

hello oatmeal.
hello pb&j.
hello soy.


a humid 76F today..
i wore a skirt without tights..
the freedom has come too soon.

i gave a presentation on my sources and influences[couldn't include photography]:
slideshow set to lali puna
miranda july short story recording

my time was up before getting to my tomine comic.
here's the last page to hawaiian getaway starring hilary chan...







[goodbye eggs.
goodbye cheese.
goodbye milk.
goodbye butter]